I love the way we set aside one day in the year to celebrate the amazing women who raised us! My mum is amazing. She has dedicated her life to her family. She is selfless yet strong, and always full of positivity no matter what life throws at her. She has inspired me to be the mum I am today.
Mothers day holds a special place in my heart because motherhood didn't come easy for me. My husband and I were married six years before we had our children, and it wasn't plain sailing!
After one year of marriage and many doctor appointments and hospital investigations, we were told that it was highly unlikely we would ever have children of our own. I had extremely low egg count, which was unusual for a woman of my age. This news was devastating for both of us, however we weren't about to give up. We found a consultant who was willing to give us IVF, but there would only be one chance, because of my poor egg supply. We were told that the chances of it working were slim. They told us we only had a 5% chance. We were both still determined to give it a go. We were determined to stay as positive as possible, and I took positive steps in the hope that everything I did would add up to make it work. I had regular acupuncture and reflexology treatments and we lived off a diet of organic food. The main thing was, we kept our mindset strong. Always believing it would work. Only allowing positive thoughts in and nothing negative.
My husband did all of my IVF injections and I was on the strongest dose of hormones to help boost my egg supply. I didn't feel ill. I felt amazing. I was so grateful to be given the opportunity to give this treatment a go. We stayed upbeat, we watched comedies and went on lovely walks together. Then the day came when I needed to take my pregnancy test. I remember eagerly diving out of bed early one morning, and without giving myself much chance to think about it, i took the test. To my surprise, there is was staring at me. POSITIVE! I couldn't believe my eyes! After waiting six years for something to happen, here it was! Then I wondered if the test itself could be faulty, so I did another, then another. They all came back positive. This was the happiest day of my life. I was filled with emotions of excitement, overwhelm and utter shock!
I then went on to have a scan at 8 weeks where it was revealed that there was two heartbeats! We were shocked, overjoyed and absolutely thrilled at the news! Having previously being told we probably would never have a child, to then be told we were having two was just a miracle!
I then went on to have an amazing pregnancy until I got to thirty weeks. I began to feel unwell, and my gut feeling told me that something wasn't right. We drove down to the hospital and after many blood tests and waiting around, it was revealed I had severe Pre eclampsia and Hellp Syndrome. Before I knew it I was being rushed down to theatre for an emergency c- section. This was serious. So serious that they took my husband to one side and told him that there was a chance I may not survive. It was a very frightening time. However, after an hour or so, doctors delivered two tiny baby girls. They were rushed straight to ICU in Neonatal, and I was taken to High Dependency where my condition began to decline. Doctors found a large bleed on my liver. The pain was intense and I was wired up to heart monitors and an oxygen mask. My husband was franticly rushing from one department to another to be with us all. Desperately hoping and praying we would all be okay. I was separated from my babies for a week, and then told that my lung was beginning to collapse. I suddenly felt a huge amount of fear. Fear that I would not survive. As soon as this fear washed over me, I told myself NO! I can't allow myself to think this way, I had to stay strong and believe like I did before I was pregnant. My children needed a mother and I needed to be there for them as soon as possible. After three weeks of determination, I finally left hospital, without my babies. This was extremely difficult, as I had been given no chance to bond with them from birth. Our tiny little miracles stayed in neonatal for a further three weeks, getting a tiny bit stronger each day. The doctors and nurses were amazing and finally, the day came when we could take them home.
Our drama still wasn't over though, my diary was filled with hospital appointments for me and our twin girls, and we still had many hurdles to climb, I had a large bleed on my liver which was showing slow improvement, and one of my daughters had a hole in her heart. They'd both been given oxygen at birth to help their tiny little lungs, and this had affected the eye sight of our other twin. Fortunately after many hospital visits, the hole in the heat closed up and there has been no issues with her eye sight. It was slow progress for me, however we are all fit and well today, and so very very grateful. Our twin girls are now four years old and happy and healthy! It was a challenging time, but we got through it, and every day my heart is filled with gratitude each time I look at my children. I am so grateful to have them both and to be here, alive and healthy to be a mum to them. Motherhood really is a gift and this is my favourite job of all.
Every year as Mothers Day approaches, I get a little nostalgic and filled with emotion. Most importantly I love to celebrate and appreciate this special day. So many women like me, have faced infertility, miscarriage or even the loss of a child. So whether your a mum in the middle of raising your babies, or you find yourself in immense pain. You are important, and this day is for all of us.
As a mum, it is easy to feel we are never enough. It takes up such a lot of energy raising our babies. Sleepless nights and difficult days. Theres no instant gratification and its exhausting, but when I now look at my children's little faces and when they shout for 'Mummy,' I know how much I'm needed. These little children look up to their mummy and I'm special to them. I hope you also feel special this Mothers Day and if your lucky enough to have children, squeeze them a little tighter. If your not yet a mum but want to be one, don't give up hope. keep believing.